Something Missing
by Snailhair101
Summary: Dean prays to Castiel and finally admits something he's been holding onto. Castiel appears to answer Dean's prayer. (Sweet and fluffy Destiel, First kiss)


After hearing the impala start up and pull away with Sam in it, Dean sighed as he turned to face the motel beds. His mind felt heavy and his chest felt tight. He slowly brought himself to sit on the end of one of the beds. He knew what he had to do...What he had to say...

"Cas," he began, dropping his eyes to the floor, "...Can you hear me?"

Thousands of miles away, Castiel heard Dean's voice clearly. He had been following a few of his brothers at a safe distance. For the moment, they became unimportant. He listened to hear more from Dean.

In the motel, Dean paused to gather is thoughts. How was he going to say this? He closed his eyes to concentrate.

"Listen, man, I need you to listen, okay?" he asked.

Castiel could hear the seriousness in Dean's low voice. Whatever he was about to say was going to be something significant. Dismissing the angels he was following, Castiel flew to Dean's location. He stood a few feet from him, in the darkest part of the room. He noticed Dean was hunching over, his face appearing tight with determination.

Dean was still trying to put the right words together.

"And _just_ listen," he added, "you don't need to pop up where I am, okay?"

Castiel gulped. He backed against the wall in an effort to not be noticed. He didn't want to disappoint Dean.

"I haven't seen you in awhile. A long while. I know you're probably busy with your 'angel' crap or whatever...and I don't mean to bother you with this, I just -" Dean sighed and opened his eyes to glare at the dirty motel floor, "I have to get this out."

Castiel continued to watch Dean. He couldn't remember ever seeing him this way; desperate to speak to someone, hands clutching his knees tightly, appearing to be in some sort of pain...

"You've done a lot for me, Cas. And I don't think I've ever told you how much I appreciate it. So, thanks. For dragging my ass out of hell and fighting through purgatory with me and everything in between," Dean spoke lowly.

Castiel felt a twitch of a smile on his own face. He was grateful to hear Dean say it.

"And I think you need to know..."

Dean paused to lean his head back and look at the ceiling. He had to spit it out, no matter how bad it sounded...

"You need to know how I feel when you leave. When you're not here, man, It's – It's just me and Sam and the same old crap we've been doing all our lives and...Dammit, I miss you. I don't know, Cas, it's like I've gotten used to seeing your stupid face or something. And when you're not here, there's a huge chunk of me missing and it sucks."

Castiel felt an odd, but potent, emotion in his stomach at Dean's words. He remained completely still, not wanting to interrupt him.

"And when you _are_ here," Dean continued, letting the words flow, "It's like I'm me again..?.I don't know. I'm trying really hard not to sound like a script from a chick-flick...but this is how I feel. And if any of this is creeping you out, just tell me somehow -"

Castiel couldn't stop himself.

"It isn't."

Dean's head snapped toward the wall. Cas was standing there, with a small smile on his face. A soft flutter went through Dean's stomach. He was suddenly glad Cas decided to pop in anyway. His familiar face felt like home. Dean took a breath.

"Good," he nodded, now too ashamed to keep talking, "That's...good."

Castiel took two steps forward.

"If you miss me, why don't you just call on me, Dean? You know I always come when you -"

"That's just it," Dean interrupted, standing up to face Cas, "I don't want to call on you to be here, I want _you _to _want_ to be here."

Castiel looked around. Where was _here_, exactly? Surely he didn't mean the motel room...

"To be where, Dean?" he asked.

"With...me..." Dean forced out, rolling his eyes at how cheesy and sad it sounded.

It was then that Castiel realized what Dean meant. He wished to have him by his side at all times. He could see a pleading look in Dean's green eyes.

"If a part of you goes missing when I leave," Castiel said, staring into the green hues, "does it return when I do?"

Dean forced a nod. He watched Cas tilt his head slightly.

"Which part?" he asked.

Dean swallowed harshly. He knew Cas needed help understanding. Being gentle, Dean reached out and took Cas's hand. He brought it up to slowly place it on the middle of his chest. He stared into Cas's blue eyes as he spoke.

"My heart," he answered.

Castiel felt the organ pounding behind Dean's ribs. Was it true? Did Castiel have that much influence on Dean's affections? Did he truly carry his heart with him where ever he went? Honesty poured from Dean's eyes.

Dean searched Cas's face, watching him come to terms with what he was trying to say. He was glad to see a smile spread across his lips.

"I'll stay here, with you, Dean," he promised.

Dean sighed, feeling a little relieved. His stomach, though, was still tight. There was one more thing – one more do-or-die act – he needed to accomplish.

Castiel could feel Dean's heart picking up pace beneath his hand. He looked up to see Dean slowly leaning forward, his eyes wide with worry and anticipation. Castiel held still, noticing their mouths were lined up perfectly.

Dean finally let his eyes close as he pressed his lips to Cas's. It was a simple kiss; just closed lips on closed lips. But Dean felt like he'd never had a real kiss until now. This was how it was supposed to feel; like the world had fallen away and only he and Cas remained. Like nothing else mattered.

Castiel felt his fingers curl around Dean's shirt. This was what Dean was talking about. This feeling of wholeness was unlike anything else.

Dean slowly pulled away, his head feeling light. Cas let go of Dean's shirt to touch his own lips. Dean smiled, secretly glad Cas had that blissful look on his face.

Castiel smiled, his lips tingling. He was relieved to see the happiness in Dean's eyes again. Nothing made Castiel happier than to know _Dean_ was happy. That's when he realized, he'd always felt this way for Dean. Dean was just the one to state it first.

"If I have your heart, Dean," Castiel said carefully, "it means you already have mine."


End file.
